Ever feel afraid? How do you cope?

Dr Gary
By Dr GaryCA Latest Reply 2016-03-28 21:51:53 -0500
Started 2016-03-07 16:20:38 -0600

“I’m afraid.”

Two small words with a really big meaning, right? Words that we are often hesitant to say. Or more to the point: Afraid to say.

Chronic conditions bring up lots of fears, from the moment you receive your diagnosis, to beginning and maintaining your treatment regimen, to contemplating the road ahead. These fears all fall under the umbrella of the biggest fear of all. Uncertainty. Humans don’t do very well with uncertainty. We’re wired to be in charge. Chronic conditions teach us that we don’t have all the control.

So we are we afraid of fear? Maybe if we let the fear in, we might be overwhelmed by it. Or if we allow ourselves to feel afraid, we will have to admit that we have something to be fearful of (also called denial). Or maybe so many people have said to “think positive” that we don’t allow ourselves to feel how we feel.

So often, my clients will say something to me like “I shouldn’t be afraid.” Or “I can’t let anyone know I’m afraid.” Here’s my response: “When something scares us, we feel afraid.” I say that because fear is a normal human emotion.

I wrote an article about fear awhile back. Here’s a link:


I am wondering if you ever feel afraid. And if you do, what do you about your feelings of fear?

Were you more afraid when you were first diagnosed? Or has the fear stayed with you over time?

Really looking forward to hear about your experiences here.

2 replies

GmaChrissy 2016-03-28 18:14:50 -0500 Report

I am afraid about my lower back right not. I'm not sure what is the best action to let the doctors do to help with my problem. One doctor wants to do injections but they hurt and cause me, for some reason, to gain weight. I need to loose weight so very badly! Another Doctor has me scheduled for Surgery on my lower back. He would remove the ruptured part and chip, for lack of better word, that makes me very scared. My husband and I know a couple people that have had back surgery and are now pretty much worse off then before. My thing is that my feet are always sore and feel like there is no circulation, they are cold and sometimes I just can't walk or stand on them any more. This surgery might help my feet, although they can't make any real guaranties!
I'm very sad about my Uncle and Dear Friend though I believe in God, Jesus Christ our Savior and truly believe my Uncle is in a much better place where he is no longer in pain although I will miss him so very much as will my Aunt, who I'm worried about and his children and grand children will also miss him as with many others whose lives he has touched. I truly hope my dear friend doesn't have to endure much more pain and suffering for I feel he has been through enough and the same goes for him as with my Uncle and the people that will dearly miss him, when our Lord comes to take him home!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2016-03-28 21:51:53 -0500 Report

Hi GmaChrissy, it's very nice to meet you. I am glad that you are here! And thanks for checking in on my discussion. I know how hard it is to make the decision about back surgery. I have been through this with friends and clients, and I have been through it myself. I had some back surgery over 20 years ago for a herniated disk. I had a great doctor and the results were excellent. I was pain free and back to work in a few days. But I do understand that each person has their own experience with back surgery, some do better than others, which is why it is such a tough decision. What I encourage you to do is to get lots of information, be aware of the potential benefits and risks, weigh it out in comparison to the other options. I am wishing ou the best. Also sorry to hear about your uncle.

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